The Return

I am back, there  has been so much going on. Kids, Family, girlfriend, work, motorcycle accidents, ex’s. . . . life!

Lets start with why I stopped writing this blog. It wasn’t because of my stellar typing skills or as some of you have pointed out in the comments my less than epic grammar. I stopped because this became ego. I appreciated the recognition I would get from friends that said they liked my latest post or read in the comments about how what I wrote may have helped someone understand their life situation a bit better. There was another side, I was getting fixated on how many people read my latest blog, how far did my blog travel around the world. Who’s reading it? what are the comments, good or bad. I was driven by the graphs and numbers. This is not why I started this, this wasn’t my plan! This became all-consuming, this became what mattered, this became the purpose! That is why I stopped. I was able to recognize that I was on the wrong path. I saw that my ego had taken over something that I loved and twisted into a self-serving purpose. I did this for me but not for recognition, not for stats, not to see whom had read my latest blog. I did this cause all of us at some point in time or another all go through some rough patches in life. Some people have no one they can talk to or trust to share their life with. Some people don’t have the support foundation they need to pass through a rough patch. I have had support and I have felt that there is no one but me. Our jobs in this world as human beings is easy treat ALL people with dignity and respect and the most important thing is to give back! This is one of the things that I do to give back. This is just me and if you can relate to what was written and it may have helped you to understand your place a bit better than that’s all that matters. If you didn’t understand what was written or didn’t like it then it wasn’t meant for you.

Every day is new chapter of life, today is about to begin and I am glad to be able to share it with you.

 

 

Your Peeps

The people I have in my life are there because of who they are. It is their character, their unique outlook on life, their personality and I know that they will call me out on my shit. These peeps are not always around, some don’t event live in the same city, province or country. I may not even speak with them every day. One thing I do know is that they are always there. Its one phone call or text or msg and BOOM!

The thing with these peeps is that they will tell you how it is, you may not like what it is that they tell you, it may event hurt a bit. What makes these people very special is that they are there for you after! They might have to kick your ass to get you on track but they will also grab your hand and pick you up and walk with you to this new place. I love these people for this reason, I know they respect me and love me enough to do this.

When one of your peeps tell you things especially if its not great, think of how hard it was for them. This was not easy for them they love and respect you; that’s why they are tell you and they may struggle to do this cause they know you and how you may react. I admire and respect my peeps for this reason. I couldn’t ask for anything else from them except for this.

Your peeps are not only there to tell you when your full of it, they are there to lift you to new levels. They know when you need a pick me up! they don’t just tell you fufu shit to make you feel better, they make you see why you are the thing they say you are!

This is a short one today but please if your someones peeps never stop calling them out on their shit but also never stop lifting them up to the sky. Respect and admiration will always be there for the one who can tell you something and hold your hand through it!

 

 

Thank you to my peeps, love all of you!

Are you there

Its been a while since I sat down and did some bloggin. I have managed to fill every spare moment I have with something. When I started this blog it was to find out what makes me happy and what is happiness, I didn’t think I would avoid blogging. I have enjoyed every moment of writing, the fun, the thought put behind it, how I opened up with me and it truly is what I believe. I have had thousands of views and comments, which is really cool! I hope that people who have read this somehow connected with it or had the option to see their life in a different way.

But. . . . .  I suck at listening to me! I am now really looking at changing my life again. I have been doing so much, 4 jobs from teaching fitness, nutrition, my regular job and starting a business. This is too much. how am I supposed to find me or how am I supposed to search for what happiness is.

This isn’t a poor me thing, this is an amazing discovery! this shows me that I can still change, I am always moving forward and learning about myself. I have read and re-read my blog over the last couple of days and discovered that this blog is doing what is was meant to do. To make me think!

I want to discover who is Corey, I cant do that with every moment filled with jobs and commitments. So its time for me to find me, to spend time with me. I have made a decision and I am devoting my self to a monastery and becoming a monk. Wish me luck.

Totally kidding!

What I am doing is taking the steps necessary to evaluate my life, to make more time for me! To not say yes to every request I have. Make time to just be! I am nervous about this, cause I have worked so many jobs for so long, it will be weird to slow down. I will be able to evaluate what my life is. I get so pumped up about life and how you can control how you live! No one else has any control over you or what you do or how happy you can and should be. You want to be something or feel something different then just do it! what are you waiting for someone to give you permission.

This is me tell me to get off me ass and change something! People tell me all the time that it must be nice to be able to make a decision and change, or I have lots of will power. I don’t! I am that same as you. I am no different then you, I just know that when the day comes and I am dying I don’t want to look back and say I should have lived differently. The only regret you should have about the past is if you weren’t smart enough to learn from it!

This is my time! This is my life! I can do anything I want to. I just have to decide how badly I want it!

I will be back and more often!

Live your life!

Time

I sit here at my desk in my apartment looking out the window watching the snow fall to the ground. Its a beautiful amazing day. Fresh snow, crisp air and knowing that the people I love might not all be beside me but they are all around me. Then I start to feel this sadness come over me, How come everyone can’t see how lucky they truly are? You are given a chance every day to change your life, to change your outlook, to be a happier you and to help everyone around you. Time is so precious its the only thing we have no control over. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades! All slip by and when we look back to see nothing but regrets. I should have done this, I wish I did that. Then while you are sitting in the pity pool you’ve created more time slips away from you.

I refuse to let time slip away, do I still have to wake up go to the gym, go to work, pay bills and fulfill my obligations? of course, but I will NOT waste my time. I want to explore this amazing world we live in, I want to meet as many people as I can. I want life to immerse me in all that there is. I often say “there is nothing but time” but I am totally wrong! There is everything else but time. Everyday is gift, every moment a blessing, death is coming to us all, it is just a matter of time. So why would you waste excessive hours and hours in front of a computer or TV. Why would spend time with “friends” that really don’t give a shit about you. Every second of your life is so valuable you have to treat it like so. Your time needs to be more valuable then anything in your possession. You are that valuable! Your time is that valuable so why waste it on materialistic items or friends.

None of this is easy, to really take time and look at who your are and what you want to become isn’t that hard. Putting your effort behind what you want to become is hard. Wanting to change your life or a piece of it is going to take work! It will require you to think every day, to wake up and have a direction and purpose to your life. Do you not want to have a purpose or are you willing to be a drone to life? This is not about goal setting, this isn’t I wanna lose 20 lbs before summer to look good. There is no goal, this is ever changing and striving to go to the next level and then the next level. You have to refuse to settle for a life of mediocrity, you have to choose a life of continual self improvement.

Do not let anyone or anything block you from your path, People will look at you and think your nuts or your “friends” will say you’ve changed. If the people around you do not see that what you are doing is for you, for you to be happy. Then should they really be around you? What you are doing is just for you, this is not to impress people. This is not a shirt to wear or a post on FB. You have to make this for you.

I write this blog for me, I do this cause it really focuses me to see life. I publish this because I know that what I feel and have gone through others must have. We are not so different, no matter who we are or what we have gone through in life. I want people to know that they are not alone and we are all fighting the same fight, to be happy!

When you take that first step into change, that makes you true hero, you become self rewarding. You don’t need anyone to tell you that you are doing a good job! or keep going you can do it! Your results in change and how it makes you feel will become so exhilarating that you will drive to continue this path of self improvement. Time is running away on you, every second that you don’t do anything your happiness is drifting farther and farther away. Who you truly are is getting farther away. So stop wasting time and thinking about regret or what you want to do or become, just take the first step and GO!

Happiness is a mountain, Its the little steps that climb Mountains!

Wanna be Stimulated?

Stimulated!Get your mind out of the gutter, not stimulated in the way you would be with your lover, partner or yourself!!!! I mean is your mind stimulated. So many people live life like this:
Wake up
Work
Sleep
REPEAT! every day!!!!!!!!
This is not stimulated this is societies cruel joke. We are so brain washed that this is what we are supposed to do. This is how you are to live your life. This is what HAPPY is! Where are you activating your mind? Where is the adventure? Where is the spontaneity? Where are you challenging yourself? When are you actually living? Where are you stimulated? You sit around and dream about better things, about winning the lottery so you can be happy? Talk about what you wanna do if you had this or that, talk about owning more or better materialistic crap, this is not stimulated. You sit around bitching about your life, how much debt you have, how much you hate your job, how you don’t like your body, your relationship sucks. This isn’t stimulated!
You need to be stimulated, when your brain just does the same thing over and over and you do the same thing over and over your brain and body become very slow, soft and mushy!  This is the living dead, ZOMBIES! read a book, Fiction is awesome, but you’re keeping your mind in a dream world that fades so fast, read a book that you will learn from!. Write a journal about your feelings or aspirations and how you are going to accomplish them. Get off your ass and go to the gym or for a walk. Meditate! meditation is all about training your mind. Stimulating your self is work it so much easier to sit down in front of the TV or computer and just zone out. That’s just lazy! Figure out what it is you want, and how your going to do it! just decide! Then take the first step!

Now there is an opposite side to this, over stimulated! Again in the right situation this is good! But we are not talking about that. It’s when you take on so much to fill every second of your day. This is tough, always doing something. Multiple jobs, hobbies and extra activities. Busy! busy! busy! Why, cause it keeps your head active so you don’t have to think about life. Then when you eventually do stop, your life hits you like a baseball bat to the back of the head Capone style! It will take courage to learn to stop and control your thoughts and feelings, because you know how much of life’s crappiness comes back to haunt you. But you are stronger than this. Look at what you have done in your life and the mountains you have climbed. Meditation is an amazing tool to help you work through the thoughts and feelings. If you don’t stop and slow down this will be an ever self-destructive path, you will never eat right, sleep right or take care of your self physically or mentally. You will always be running from your own life!

Life is what you make it, you decide how busy you are or if you just sit around. You decide how much you do or don’t do. You control the world you live in and how you live. You can’t blame anyone else for the world YOU created. But YOU do have the power to change your world and make it an amazing beautiful place to live in.

Circle of Trust, Focker!

Have you looked around to see who is in your life? Are they lifting you up or are they keeping you down? Do they belong in your circle of trust or are they all just a bunch of fockers!(puny)

As I head on this journey I have paid attention to the people around me and that group is getting smaller and smaller. I am not becoming a crazy recluse, I am just surrounding my self with people who lift me, that will support me, that fuel my passions and ideas no matter how crazy they seem. So many people want to keep you down with out event knowing that they are doing it. You have an idea and they tell you that its dumb or no one will like it or any type of negative comment. Maybe they think that they are protecting you from pain or protecting them selves or trying to control you. This just builds frustration and anxiety. I have people in my life that do everything to support me to build me up and I do the same for them. This is true and call it love, friendship or brotherhood. I don’t care to label it. It is amazing to feel like this, to have people around you like this. When you find those people you won’t have to work to keep them they will just always be there. If you do lose them it was cause you were an ass. Hopefully soon you realize that those people will still be there with open arms and you know that they will never hold the past over you or throw it in your face. Run to them! those people are rare!

The people in my life now have one expectation of me, to be the best me I can and they support me, they encourage me. It is a small group of peeps but really what more do you need? Do you want to have lots and lots of people in you life that really don’t give a crap about you or what you do? Those people are just useless Fockers!

Sometime the hardest thing is to drop people in your life that you know are keeping you down. They could be general people you know, friends you’ve had for years or even that person sleeping beside you. But if these people really do love you or want the best for you they shouldn’t keep you down or put you down. Less is more in this case, I would rather have the small amount of people in my life then a busy social calendar full of Fockers.

Open your eyes and see who is there, really there! You control your day, how you feel and how you react. Why wouldn’t you want people around you that make you feel good and encourage you to be better and push harder and to chase your dreams!

Good Night!

Challenges

How is it that sometimes you just want to snap! Lose IT! freak out and scream! or run to a dark room and cry? It feels like you’re possessed maybe your head will spin all the way around and projectile vomit comes shooting out! Sounds gross but so is what we do our selves every day by not having control of our emotions and feelings. Either certain people or situations get us so worked up. In a split second your saying whatever hurtful or mean thing you can, trying so hard to be right or more sneaky in what you say to trap someone so you can call them out on it. Your not a mean or cruel person, you just have no control. When someone hurts us we feel such an urge to hurt back, this is where the challenge comes in. Almost every situation when someone says something hurtful to you it is because they are jealous of you, see you as a threat or they are hurting inside. If you just stop for a split second and think about that, the situation or about how to reply you might not regret what comes out of your mouth. This is becoming such a cruel society, and people lack any and all depth in them selves, so in order to feel anything good besides the ever fading euphoric feeling of materialistic possessions, people go to the next easiest thing, be hurtful and cruel to make them selves feel good or to fill  void they have.  Just remember it’s never to late to say your sorry.

Your head is a crazy place, that little voice, it can be your best friend or worst enemy. It’s a strange thing that you can convince yourself that you can’t do something. That little voice will tell you that you are not smart enough, not strong enough, nobody wants to see you succeed or you’re not worthy. That little voice will tell you to stop! You have to look deep inside and figure out that YOU are that voice YOU control what you think how you think. That little voice is just a spoiled child, its your job to control that child and direct that child. Everyday challenge that voice. To challenge your self in your head.

Have you decided to take on something new, a new years resolution, a project at home or maybe what I’m doing a self-awareness project. How do you do this? where do you start? lets look at your day shall we. Your daily routine which we all love to do, we get up shower, brush our teeth and get ready for our day maybe get the kids ready for school. Come home, spend time with loved ones, eat, watch TV, surf social media, go to sleep and repeat! Sounds like a very busy day how could you ever fit anything else into it? You know how it feels when you sleep through your alarm and your whole day is spent chasing time that you lost!!!! This is why most new challenges fail. You need to make time for what you want, don’t jam more things into your day. You will end up neglecting something. You need to focus, you need to understand that it’s not easy. Others around you wont understand why you’re doing this, you may disconnect with people who don’t understand your challenge. Remember that you are worth the challenge you have taken on, you are doing this for you. How bad do you want to accomplish this new challenge, do you really want it or do you just kind of want it? Are you willing to reorganize your daily routine, this might even affect someone else’s routine. Today we are so addicted to a quick fix for everything, lose weight by taking a pill! 20 minutes or its free! surgery and injections to look like the people you idolize! brides on-line! Challenge yourself to earn everything, the only thing in life you deserve is what your earn!!!!!Whatever it is you want is not going to be handed to you, you have to get up, move your ass! and work hard to get it. The recipe is simple, work hard, never give up and you will be successful.

 

SISU

Finnish Word, meaning ultimate determination, strength and fortitude, carried to an unfathomable level.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life Will Change

Life is full of changes whether you’ve made the changes or you are dealing with the changes.

When you don’t have control over the changes in your life or the changes are not in your favor. Its seems like the world is against you, we start to think that maybe there is something wrong with us or are we cursed. You end up looking at your self in a diminished way or with low self-worth. Then someone tells you to look on the bright side! or things happen for a reason! the first thing you want to do is punch them in the face! WTF! I feel like my world is crumbling and you want me too look on the bright side? Maybe you don’t want to? Maybe you like to wallow in your misery? Maybe you are punishing yourself?

Why? why do we do this? you have achieved so much to this point in your life and you want to throw that away cause something didn’t go right? That is life, things will always happen. Its how you deal with them that matters. How you acknowledge the emotions and feelings that you have. How you let them affect you NOW, right now. You want to know how to deal with the changes in life . . . . . accept that change will happen. I am not saying accept everything that happens to you, accept the change or event. Then decide how you move forward.

I am like most people I have had my life change for the good and bad. I have self wallowed, sulked in my misery and totally punished myself. Looking back I have missed so much of my life cause I was trapped in my own “poor little Corey world”. To achieve so much in my life big and small and to forget that or push it aside is just dumb!

To be mindful of the changes that you have no control over and how they affect you is important. Your emotions are  very powerful recognising when they surface will help you deal with the changes. Only when you can recognise that change is inevitable is when you can accept it or change it.

Change isn’t bad, if you live your whole life and change nothing I mean nothing, ever. Have you really lived? or have you just gone through the motions? Have you ever seen someone and said ‘wow’ look at what they are doing or where they are and say I could never do that! I don’t think anything pisses me off more than hearing people say that! What is stopping you from being happy and making the change. You will think of a million reasons of why you cant do this or that. Don’t be afraid to fail! If you have learned something, anything from a failure. is it really a failure? Do you know how truly powerful you are, you can do anything you want! go anywhere you want! be anything you want! All you have to do is work hard and accept the CHANGE that’s needed to do what you want. Don’t be afraid of the unknown, just make the change take the chance!

Amazing things come from change, your whole life can be different you can be happy.

Being happy is worth the change.

 

How do you live.

Do you live in the past? or the future? or both?

THE PAST

So how many things have you done in the past that you are affecting you now? I’ve done my share. I have let those things torture me for a very long time. It has affected everything I have done in the future. I have hurt family, relationships, jobs, and friends because of my past. It is a heavy burden to continue to drag this weight around. How do you let it go? that’s the hard part. You may have been forgiven by those you hurt or maybe you haven’t. That’s not what this is about.

This is about your forgiveness by you for you, why do you want to continue to self loath. How long are going to persecute yourself? What has happened in the past is just that the past. You have to look at taking the first step forward. I wish it was as easy to do as it was to type it. I am not saying to totally forget the past, your remorse is what will help you to move forward. Look at the people around you, your family and friends your attitude and mind set are affecting them right now. Your mindfulness is controlling everything around you. The more you are miserable and self destructive, the more your life will be miserable and self destructive. This is not about putting on a strong shell so no one can see how your feeling, you can have a shitty day. But choose to work through it, choose to make it better, Choose to appreciate the little things, choose to be happier, choose to let it go. Life is about choices you have made some bad choices, start making good choices. Life isn’t easy, its a challenge you have to wake up every morning and take that challenge and make better choices.

You can search throughout the entire universe

for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection

than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your

love and affection.

-The Buddha-

THE FUTURE

Doc Brown and Marty had the right idea, get a sweet ride and head to the future! Looking at your life and wanting position, materialistic items, a certain life style or thinking when I win the Lottery I will do . . . . ! What a way to set your self up for disappointment, we put so much pressure on our selves for the future. We think so far ahead and most of us don’t have a real plan just a finish line. You can’t have a finish line with out a start line or path. You still need a direction and drive. You need to have goals, you need to have the will, absolutely!Why is that not enough? let life’s ride take you there. Stop forcing life to bend to what you want, that will only work for so long. What happens when life throws a road block in the middle of your path? Are you mindful enough to work through it or are you going to throw in the towel and give up.

THE NOW

This is where I need to be living. Right now, right here. I still have my goals and aspirations. I have things I want to achieve in the future. I don’t set a defined destination or date. I work for them and I know they will come. I live right now, this moment. NOW, know what kind of person I want to be, I know I have the opportunity to make choices that will be positive and affect the people around me. NOW, my past is there to help me, to help me be a better me. I cannot change the past, I cannot delete the past. I just keep moving forward because of the past. I am everything I am today because of the past.

When my eyes open in the morning I know I have another opportunity to be the person I want to be and live the life I want to live! I am alive and now I have the choice to make my life what ever I want it to be, right now.

Little Things

2015!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been blind for way to long to see the beautiful things that are right in front of me, I have really started to look at the all the little things that I have been neglecting because I put everything else first, especially the life choices I have made. I have been so focused on what I want tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, 5 years from now. I have forgotten the splendor that is right here! My life is so amazing and full of happy little things all I have to is stop and open my eyes!

Right now this moment is the perfect example! I am on my laptop writing this blog and the sun is rising I have the blinds up and the windows open a cool brisk breeze coming in, listening to the sounds of nature the birds chirping, trees swaying in the wind. My son sound asleep in his room. RIGHT NOW, this moment is all the little things that make me smile. It is the little steps that climb mountains, open your eyes to recognise all the little things that make you happy. They are right in front of you!

I will be back, I’m gonna go and open my eyes.

Your life, the good, bad and indifferent is always gonna be there. We have money problems, bills to pay, a job we have to do, commitments of life and relationship issues. They will always be there, unless you want to become a Buddhist monk, trust me I thought about it, but the celibacy thing just isn’t for me. Why do you let life stop you from seeing what’s there? We get so caught up in our lives, and life just keeps moving so fast, before you know what’s happened its been months, years or even decades. What have you done? What haven’t you done? How many little things have you missed?

You have created the life you live good or bad, you have done this by your actions and your reactions to situations. Right now is what matters, how are you going to be happy right now? The little things that make you happy are free! a smile from a stranger or a smile to a stranger, holding the door for someone, feeling the sun on your face, being in nature, laughing and being comfortable by yourself. There is no “list” of happy things you just have to open your eyes. Your fancy clothes, nice car, big house or fat bank account wont make you happy! Materialistic items just fill the quick need. We all like nice things but when you get them you almost immediately start looking for the next thing and the next and the next. When you make more money, you spend more money, you buy more things and then you need to make more money! on and on and on!. For almost everyone reading this if you stop and look around right now. You probably have a roof over your head, you probably have clothes on your back, and food in your belly. You are the richest person I know!

Even though this is the start of a new year, you don’t need a special day to change. Every day is a new day, every moment is a new moment, create something amazing and fill your life with the little things.

Please share this blog, comment or email me. I would love too hear your thoughts.